The past 2 weeks had been a real huge mess of my life. From the break up to the many lil drama from everywhere that follows. I mean, leaving is so damn easy you know that? Find someone you wanna be more than the current one, don't try to work things out, decide that being friends is better, and just leave. You know who's the one you left? It was your girlfriend. The one that's been with you, stood by you, made you mad, cheered you up, had major quarrels I thought made us stronger, waited when you said time was what you need. Most importantly, believed in every thing you told me. Believed there was a forever in us. That's the one that you left behind.
It's okay that feelings change. (changed from me to another person nevertheless) Who could predict what the future holds right? It's okay to not find me as fascinating anymore. But no one leaves just like that. So many questions, no explainations. What's with the give you time to sort things out. You already chose her over me. Give you what time? To finally get courage to be friends? To just go?
Seriously. Leaving isn't such a big deal. In fact, breaking up was almost a sure move. What I resent the most for this whole ordeal; I wasn't even given a damn chance to try. I'm the one that faced all the lies you made me believe, still choose to stand by you when all was in my face. I was the one you don't text sweet nothings to. I was the one you forgo in the mist of happifying the rest of them. What did I get in exchange? A friendship.
I'm glad we are friends and all. I just hate being the one that's left behind to clear this mess on my own. The one facing the world with every "Jo, your boyfriend" this "your boyfriend" that. To tell each one of them that nope, I'm single and you're someone elses boyfriend. Braved through all their reactions and sympathies. For once, if being me means getting left behind like that, I rather not.
It was more painful that anything I've gotten, it was my karma. I accpeted it, gotten use to it, growing out of it. I'm worth more than a slob of sobbing mess, worth more for everything I put in. 2 weeks, it's been too long. 14days of my previous life sipping away in sadness. I snapped out of it today, I'm outta this cycle.
Other than this major drama. There are lil drama that follows. I don't even know where to start. It's like, sigh. My life is in a huge mess and I'm clearing it up tonight. I don't have a drinking problem. The only problem there is, it's the alcohol that keeps coming to me. Drinking is not a very very bad habit. I mean, not the addicted stage, that's pure madness. Drink to get high, not drunk. I learnt an important lesson. I will not fucking drink anything with flames and comes in pretty colors with an empty tummy anymore. Bloody thing looks so damn harmless.
And the so many squabbles people like to have with me. Is it because I make a lot of sense that's why they like to try and get me down but get fucked instead? If you're unhappy, just fucking leave me and my peaceful life alone. Why so much beef! Aiya, human minds, I really don't understand.
So, it's still pretty early now. But I'm tired already. Time to sleep, and lead a healthier lifestyle. Heh.
Max out naggy post.
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