What do I say?

I'd say, I'm thankful fo' SoberThoughts, it's always here with me through the ups and the downs.

And down now,
Why do I feel down? I don't know. I really don't like the idea of me doing something to my best, and to have people judging it and deem it as fake. And I don't even like the idea that its happening to me now, from you. I don't like it.

And I absolutely hate the thought of me, one-sided.
Tell me, I'm stupid or what? Okay, yea. I know I'm totally stupid.
What I said, I should have just done it. Instead of dragging this, and prolonged.

I'm not tired of it. I'm sad. You know the feeling you get when you totally feel like a nutcase, unappreciated? And when I wrote All the love notes in the world, I feel like I'm keeping a secret diary. No one reads, no one bothers, no one cares.

This is pushing me to my limits.
People, they often say they want someone good, someone right, someone ideal.
I am working towards it. Being the ideal person you would wanna like.
In the end what I got?
This is so staged.
Totally right, 'cause it's all fake one what.

Nothing about you to me is real.
Nothing about you to me was real.

Have you ever put yourself in my shoes?
Don't answer me, it scares.

Is it that difficult?
I just wanna be a girly girl fo' once.
A girly girl that's strong enough to wrestle you back.
That dance with you,
And eat with you,
Flip with you,
And have fun with you.
Even when I'm covered in red spots.

Haha,
After all these, I still miss you.