Laying eggs.

I think sometimes in life, we get so caught up in the problems that we forgot to slow down and take in the good things that's happening around us and enjoy. I decided to just observe how people are gonna behave and what they're gonna say.

So yesterday, I went out fo' lunch and when I returned, there's a nicely wrapped apple on my desk with a note attached to it, signed off anonymous. Till now, I still have got no idea who's d sweet thing who did that fo' me. Thank you, secret guardian angel. It did kinda make my day, and my lovely classmates who couldn't stop teasing me bout it. Class, oh! Been to class more often now. I guess, school probably isn't that bad after all!

And today I was sleeping in all the way till 1pm plus, and suddenly my mum came to wake me up, telling that d air-con man is here to fix it. I opened my eyes and got a shock, with her, is the air-con man's assistant who couldn't stop checking me out. I've got a lil mid-day drama happening back home. So cute. HAH!

Went to school fo' d preview, fucked it up real badly. I haven't been training my girls hard nuff, I would love to believe. Someone told me; if you tried your best, and other people still pick on you, IT JUST SHOWS THAT YOUR BEST ISNT FUCKING ENOUGH! It's gettin' harder and harder to stay on. I would gladly believe that I didn't correct the same damn mistake fo' bout 5000times. BUT I DID! Damn, why?

And, it was pretty obvious that after preview, we were to proceed to studio 2 fo' more practices. WHERE D FUCK DID HALF D PEOPLE WENT TO!? You guys really went home to lay eggs? My god. What d fuck? Disappointments after disappointments. Sigh, if I can feel THAT much about the shit, think about it.

What's left of the people who put in more effort than me?
What's left of the people whose love surpasses mine on any day?
What's gonna be left if these very people give up?

I'm sure some of you might feel glad. There won't be anyone else to boss you people around and do what you're told. Hello, read up on your mafucking history. I hope we won't end up like blind fucks and just follow what d succeeded did.

And ever gotten d feeling that you're just not needed? I get that all d time. People won't understand. When you're good, you get included in everything automatically. But when you're not as good, they just erase you from memory like you don't exist at all. So what? Fo' d past week I've been asking myself. So what if I fuckin' attend each and every single session, because I don't wanna miss out on anything? End of d day, I'm just not there with them.

So what if you're good? What about people trying so hard? Those who are constantly trying to improve themselves, and those who are damn good, but remain stagnant. Who deserve a better chance to perform, compete? I've been asking myself fo' d past nights, what for? I won't be that dancer shining anyway. And so many won't know d feeling of being left out. Even when I'm sick, even when there's more to be done at home, I make sure it won't affect my practises, my crewmates who's sweating it out so hard.

For fuck? Appreciation, none. Respect, none. Understanding, none. But a whole lot of bullshit and nonsense thrown in your face. It's not easy to treat it like I'm strong 'nuff to take it. It's not easy not to get personally, emotionally affected. It's not easy when other's dont know it.

There's more to everything than what it seem. It just gets sooooo... wearing that people only talk shit, and don't do shit. Might as well lay more eggs at home, don't talk better. Talking bad bout your crew, its just like tearing down your own stage!
What a nice way to repay d same people who put in effort, and sweat in ensuring that every performance is at its best.
What a fuckin' nice way to repay Abang, fo' all the time he's put in fo' all of us.
AND THIS IS D BEST GODDAMN WAY TO GIVE BACK TO LARRY, TO FEL, TO THE IG ITSELF.

If you're d ones, and you feel guilty.
Not too bad, you still've got your conscience.
Else, just go and fuck yourselves and eat your own eggs.
Sigh.

I don't like telling this kinda shit matters to d world, but who's gonna listen to me? Fuck man, I really wish my mood doesn't get dampen at d Flames tommorow. Good luck.

Dance together, stay together. Please.